i think my tv is drunk
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
God, I missed his penis.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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