DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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