I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
