Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
