If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
