Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize