Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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