would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize