dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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