Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
