he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize