He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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