she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he fucked my hip out of place.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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