that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
