he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
