i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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