So drunk its hurt
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
