only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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