pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
