Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
