Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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