Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
