Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
