For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
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woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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