You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have fence marks all over my body
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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