I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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