I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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