Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize