I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
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