I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
