get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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