Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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