The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize