Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
