Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
