My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
