FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
