She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
