my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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