I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize