im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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