I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
