talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
