He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think I have vodka in my lungs
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
