So drunk its hurt
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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