Barsexuality is the new black.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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