You really coming over, don't trick.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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