Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
