I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
