I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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