I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
