You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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