I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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