he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
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Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
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AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize