I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
