i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
